literature

I Wonder...

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Mattpwnsall's avatar
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Literature Text

I wonder how my life would be if it were different. I wonder how it would be if I were artistic and able to do art that I was proud of.  If I could draw like other people. If I knew what everyone was talking about in the art world. If I knew about all of the major art brands that people seem to like and talk about, like Prisma Color and Faber Castell. I wish I were able to show my emotions and feelings more and not be afraid to show them. If I could be more expressive and if I knew how to express it, because my way of expression just falls flat. I wish I didn't care about others too much, because it seems like my desire to help others has only driven them away form me. My desire to help and be a friend has driven my best friends away, and I don't like that fact. People avoid me because of that fact.

Then maybe I wouldn't feel like I am left out, but also be left out. I want to fit in. I want to be with my best friends when they hang out with each other and I want to be special. I don't want to be left out when my friends talk with each other and I don't want to be left out overall. I just feel like I'm neglected. Like a plant that doesn't get the care and attention it wants. Like a plant that only gets that attention when it calls for it and when it starts to wither. I want to be someone that everyone remembers, because many people don't even know that I exist. I want people to talk with me and start conversations with me like the old days. Especially HER.

Is that too much to ask?

I miss the old days…
I wrote this in English class today because I was feeling so down on myself from this morning

I know for a fact that there are 5-6 people who will NOT read this UNLESS I ask them to

If they read this and comment on it without me asking, I'd be surprised, and very flattered :blush: :D

Otherwise, ignore the rant, and enjoy! :D
© 2011 - 2024 Mattpwnsall
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xGrimFirex's avatar
What an amazing piece of written work! :heart: This is really touching, bro. :happycry: